Conversations with Life with Lena Korn

In this episode Shelley chats to Marion Method Mentor, Lena Korn.  Lena helps support women to come home to themselves and do the inner work to transform their lives, she lives and breathes these embodying practices. Listen as Lena speaks to the stark contrast of her dream life by intentional design now, compared to the career focused anxious Mum she was three and a half years ago. 
 
In this episode you'll learn about:
- how Lena's conditioning, imprints and self-worth meant she previously defined herself through her career
- the cascade of kismet career events that led to a complete lifestyle change
- how Lena went from overriding her feelings and feeling disconnected to embracing life on life's terms
- the three pillars of Marion's work that have been pivotal in Lena's process
- how our kids and animals can be key in our conversations with life

If you are wanting to see things through a new lens that truly allows you to embrace the full magic of yourself, then this is the podcast episode for you!

21 days of play course

Continue the conversation with Shelley here:
https://www.facebook.com/shelleyclarkemindbodyparenting
https://www.instagram.com/_shelleyclarke_/

Find Lena Korn here:
https://www.facebook.com/lena.korn.5
Anna Lena's Telegram channel

This podcast is produced by Nikki O'Brien from Quintessential Being

Transcript

 Shelley Clarke  00:00

I wish to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the lands I live on. I pay my respects to the Kaurna people elders past and present, and honour their ongoing traditions. Welcome to the mind body parenting podcast. I'm your host, Shelley Clarke. Here I talk about all things mind and body and how this relates to ourselves and our parenting. I envision a world where children are seen and heard, and parents feel supported and less alone. Join me here in the power of story, expert knowledge and lived experiences. Let's dive in.

00:40

Today's episode is brought to you by kids in Adelaide. For all the best events, activities, places to visit and things to do with your kids in Adelaide and around South Australia. Visit www.kidsinadelaide.com.au. Welcome to the mind body parenting podcast. I'm your host Shelley Clarke. And today I'm very excited to be chatting with our guests. Lena Korn. Lena is a mother of two she is another Marion Method mentor, and helps support women to come home to themselves to do the inner work to transform their lives. She lives and breathes these embodying practices. And I'm so so so excited to have her on the podcast today. Hello, and welcome, Lena.

01:27

Hello, Shelley. Thank you so much for that beautiful introduction.

01:31

Oh, you're so welcome. It's so exciting to have you on. So just so that other people know as well. Lena and I did the Marion method training last year. So we spent a whole year well, close to a year it was probably nine or 10 months. In circle in in the space with Marion Rose, who has been on the podcast. She was the very first guest that I interviewed which feels like a long time ago now we're now 30 interviews in so if you are just listening, the very first episode is with Marion Rose, who has been a mentor of mine for a few years and also of Lena’s. And we both did her training last year, which is a beautiful philosophy and beautiful practices and processes. And so I'm really excited to have Lena on today to talk about her experience and talk through some of these things that we've learned. So it's so exciting. Lena,

02:32

I'm excited to add Yeah, it's it's well, it's it has been almost a year. It's really crazy to think that we've spent, yes, such an amount of time together. And it was like twice a week as well. So it was huge. It was

02:49

big. And you have to spend so much time and yeah, twice a week for that amount of time is it's such deep, rich work. And yeah, I really, really loved really love that that year of training. So let's start with a little bit more about you where you've come from your journey to doing what you do today.

03:15

Yeah, so my journey, I guess, everything started the path that I'm on now that was really comes back to a decision that I made three and a half years ago, which looking back at that time, it was really the best and the worst decision of my life. Yeah, so at the time, I was pregnant with my second son, and Noah was 18 months at the time. So he was really little. And that was the time where I was, I was a very different person from who I am today. And I was very career focused. I love being a mum and that transition into motherhood when I had my first baby. That was to me, and quite easy transition. And I guess I was a lot of the things that motherhood brought with it. It was quite natural to me. So it wasn't an anxious mum. It felt it felt easy but relaxed, it felt beautiful. But there was also that part of me that really struggled with the identity of being a mum as in being home with my child. really dedicating all of my time to my to my baby. Yeah, it was it was interesting because when I looked at my friends who also had babies at the same time or the circles that I was hanging out with other mothers, I just remember having this reoccurring thought that There was a part of me that just didn't really believe that motherhood, as in, you know, really being home was for me, because then I had that had that sense of, yes. Like this is this is it now like, I'm friends of mine, I remember they had, they had taken three years maternity leave or didn't even really have an intention to return to work. And that to me, felt really foreign. And I couldn't identify, identify myself with that. And when I think about that, now, in hindsight, obviously, I understand where a lot of that thinking came from, from my conditioning and my imprints, and also my self worth, and that I was really defining myself through my career at the time, and Marion's work helped me understand so much that obviously, there's that cultural conditioning around that piece, that piece that mothers, mothers are not really honoured in it in our culture. So that was the piece I struggled with. And in terms of work, so I was working, I had returned to work when I was really little, I think it was only a month. And when I was pregnant with Marley, a career opportunity came up. It was my manager at the time that retired, and his job came up. And that was my absolute dream position. And initially, I hadn't even considered like really applying for that position. But he was actually the one that encouraged me. And he said, You know, I can I can really see you in that position and do you want to apply. So I did, and it was a huge application process. They received lots of applications from interstate. And it was always clear that it was going to take some time to really fill that position permanently. But I had been successful for that interim position, which I was over the moon, I was so happy about that. But it also meant that I had to move into to another city. So we were living in the Northern Territory at the time, we're living in Catherine. And the job was in Darwin. So it meant that I had to move to Darwin and without them. Because then of course, is on job. And yeah, that was a that was a huge decision. But we talked about it. And yeah, a couple of weeks later, I found myself living in Darwin. And yeah, initially, it was only meant to be a few weeks. And it turned out to be much longer. I think I ended up working there for just over three months. And I remember the first six weeks of living apart from my baby.

08:17

I cried myself to sleep every night. It was yeah, it was literally being in physical pain, like the separation from my child. And I still find it quite painful to reflect upon that. Because with everything that I know now I can see so clearly that obviously, every part of my being was calling me to go back to my child, but I didn't really know the things that are not today. And that channels to so used to really overriding my feelings all the time. So I stayed. And it wasn't all bad. Obviously, I really, really enjoyed the work. I was incredibly busy. And what happened was that I felt actually really disconnected from Marley to the point that I completely often forgot that I was pregnant because I was doing huge days. And I remember I was in a meeting once and Marley kicked me and got this kick in the ribs. And I remember really I struggled. I was like, Oh my God, what was that? And then the next minute it was like, Okay, I'm pregnant. That's my baby. We're all good. So this is how disconnected I was from myself. And then yeah, when Marley was born. It came as a huge shock. Which sounds crazy, but it was really was I really hadn’t prepared for the fact that, yeah, another another human was actually coming into the family. So I felt hugely overwhelmed. That the whole like all of the grief that I had been experiencing through that separation from no one that began to catch up on me once Marley was born, because then again, I didn't really get a sense get to spend a lot of time with him because I had Noah and so naturally, Noah, hang out more with Dan. And it was really, really hard for me. I felt depressed, I felt overwhelmed. And yeah, all I wanted, really was to go back to work. And I didn't really see that at the time. But obviously, that was my way of really avoiding that pain and avoiding having to sit with my feelings. So I was very busy then preparing for my return to work, which I was excited about. And Marley, he's, I think he again is he was around, it was around the eight month mark. And we started to send him to family daycare, it was the same place that Noah used to go to us. There was a really beautiful setup. With this elderly couple. They were looking after a few kids. And yeah, so we started Marley. Marley started seeing them, and it was an absolute disaster. It did not go well. And yeah, so usually, it was only like, a couple of days a week. And but really, I would get a phone call pretty much an hour after I dropped him off every time and follow a call and she'd say, look, he hasn't stopped crying ever since he dropped him off. And yeah, I think you'll have to pick him up. So that was really, really frustrating to me at the time. And I did not understand. And I honestly remember having like having this thought, What is wrong with my child? I don't want what's wrong, I don't understand. When I think back to lower obviously, he also he cried initially, but that transition to daycare was much easier. And with with Marley, it just wasn't happening. And I started to face so anxious about not being able to return to work. I think I had a couple of months, left on my maternity leave. And I was like, he doesn't even last an hour like how's this going to work? So

12:58

frantically started to research, separation, anxiety, babies. And I don't remember how I remember the day but I don't I don't remember how. But somehow, I ended up coming across the AWARE parenting podcast, with Marion Rose and Lael Stone. And that episode on separation anxiety. That was that episode I found. And I shared that actually, I shared that online when I talked about my story. I remember this day. So clearly, I was actually in our home gym, as working out, which was another way of me avoiding my feelings. I was obsessed with physical exercise at the time, which also makes so much sense to me now. Anyway, I found this podcast and there was this, I had this really strong feeling of leaving the exercise and to just lay on the ground. And I really follow that and I can still see what I was laying on the ground in our house. Next to the gym, and I started listening to this podcast and every single word that Marion and players spoke just resonated so deeply with me. It was like having one lightbulb moment after the other. And it was so and I could see so clearly as like, cause this is why there's nothing wrong with my child. Everything is normal. He's normal. I'm normal, like what I'm feeling is. And yeah, that was really the moment that I came to were parenting. And that day honestly changed. Changed. trajectory of my life. It was, I began to literally drown myself in information on a web parenting and I listen to every single episode of the podcast, some of them multiple times. And yeah, also begin to work with player one on one that was Leigh was my first mentor. And I began working with her one on one, which was an absolute incredible experience. And then I moved on to, she ran her aware or parenting immersion, a couple of months into working with him. And then and I actually decided to sign up for that together. The thing is 12 weeks at the time is the level one and level two. And yeah, it was just the most incredible experience. And it was really the first time in my life that I understood, I guess, my childhood imprints, yeah, this morning. And were really understood why I was thinking the way I was thinking why I was doing the things that I was doing and why I was parenting, the way I was parenting. And it was really, it was the same for Dan, it was the same experiences really getting to know ourselves, like for the very first time from such a different perspective. And it was during that time that we did the immersion, that this idea was born, that we want it to change the way we live our lives. And the way we parent entirely was that was to really to let go of our careers, to leave our jobs, to buy caravan, and to go travelling and to really spend all of our time with our children and with each other. And, yeah, that. And from then on, I actually began working with Marion.

17:21

Because yeah, I just had this really strong pull towards her work, particularly at the time was the inner loving presence process. That was actually the first time that the first programme that I did with her. Yep. And from then I started to do the mentoring one on one with her. And that was when we met the first time I believe that was mentoring group, which was so transformative. And yeah, from there. Did the Marian the mmm tea training. And it was the week the training, the training ended was when we began to travel it yeah, that is it's almost a year ago now, actually.

18:07

Which is such incredible timing, isn't it? That Yeah. Wow. And so, like, what a journey, I just think that is, it's so amazing. And I'll ask more about your travels, because I want to hear about that and then hear about creating the life that you really desire, which is what I wanted to have you like the focus of the conversation today. Because I really see that that is what you've done. And you are now living this, you know, travelling around Australia in a caravan spending time and connection and, and you know, really present time with your kids and each other. And it is so inspiring, which we'll talk more about that in a little minute. But just wanted to also acknowledge where you've come from in terms of most of us can relate to live working in jobs that are really busy and, you know, focusing on career and you know, the culture that we grow up in, this is what we're told and sold. But that we, you know, not understanding feelings, avoiding our feelings, you know, talking about burying ourselves in our work or exercising our control patterns that you've just mentioned so much of what many of us feel in sort of main streams, our disconnected culture that we all live in. And so I just love the fact that you've been so intentional in what you have wanted, and work towards creating that. It's incredible.

19:54

Thank you, Shelley. Yay, actually, sometimes to have laws not on my And when I really got back, and I love that you asked me to be on the podcast, because it's really given me an opportunity, again to reflect upon that whole journey. And yes, it's sometimes I still have moments where I'm like, how did this all happen? This is yeah, it's, it's incredible, because it has been such a huge transition, there's so much change, and I can really, I cannot relate to that part of me anymore. There's being so focused on my career and, and really not being able to see where that word came from. And, of course, I've got a compassionate lens now. And I really understand where that all comes from. But it doesn't take away from the fact that it's so huge, like the bigness of that.

20:54

Yeah, so big. And I also just want to acknowledge they're, like, you know, talking about work and being passionate, like, we can be focused, or we can have a passion like, I I'm working a lot at the moment, I'm loving doing these podcasts. So there's a purpose, there's, there's a difference what I'm trying to say there's a difference between if you're loving what you're doing in your life, and it's lighting you up. And you know, you're spending time doing that, as well as with your kids. There's a difference to that than what you're saying where you were wanting to go back to work and driven by that, but not sure where that drive was coming from. And it was actually there was avoiding feelings underneath and disconnecting from yourself. And so that's very different to I just want to mention that for people that are out there thinking, Well, I love my work. And I there's nothing about it's not. Yeah, sending love to people out there that might be listening and thinking well, but I like enjoy going to work. That's okay, we can enjoy what we want to do. It's that you came from a place of, of working but without realising what was driving you and what was underneath.

22:05

Absolutely, yeah, thank you for clarifying. Because that is so important. You're so right. And I guess also the path that I was on some My background is law. And the so clearly now, that has never really served me, although I believe I did a lot of really beautiful work in the word with that in with my work and all of that. However, the reason why I chose law was because I had this underlying story. And I didn't know that at the time that I was never really I felt I was never really taken seriously by people. And I had this sense of having to prove that I was intelligent, that I was smart, because I wasn't, I wasn't really perceived as that. That was my story. So for me was this, I need to prove on paper that I'm intelligent, when that really that was not my path. And there was so much work that I had to do in order to really get to that. And to really acknowledge that I was using my work to really Yeah, I guess that's where I got my self worth

23:29

from. Yeah, and validation. Yeah. So, gosh, it's such a powerful point that you make, and many people would be like this where we you're following a path because you want to prove something or, you know, you want to show people that you are intelligent and a serious person to be taken seriously. We we've picked these beliefs and imprints up so early in our childhood that they you know, we can end up down a path as adults that were like she were how did I get here?

24:02

Yeah, yeah. When I look, when I look back at what I wanted to do, when it was time to think about in Korea, I wanted to be a makeup artist. Wow. That was my passion. I was so passionate about makeup and fashion and yeah, really bringing that to myself, but it was so I loved to bring that to my friends. And I that's that's what I wanted to do. And yeah, I had this conversation with with my mum and at the time and she was like, Oh my gosh, but you are so much more than makeup. There's so much more to you. It's and I'm not. Yeah, so she wasn't willing for me to go down that path. And she actually said she's like, I want you to do something proper. I support you to do something proper first.

24:59

Thank you are and how many of us have heard something like that, though, you know, like I had, I was with a parent the other day. And she said to me that, you know, she really wanted to be an actor, and, you know, act and perform and, and her parents said, No, there's no money in acting, you know, like, it's too inconsistent. And so I encouraged her not to. And she's like, I but I always really wanted to do that. So there's something you know, there's so much power in when we back our children and when we, and when we trust them. And I wanted to talk about trust today, which we can it's a nice segue into understanding conversations with life and really deeply trusting ourselves, but then also our children. Should we talk a little bit more about that? I know, that's a big topic and one question, but maybe let's start with, let's start with conversations with life. Because this is one of the aspects of Marian roses work and the Marian method. So we often have, we talk about love, and we talk about the will, our will energy, our action, kind of energy, our willingness, the third aspect of her work is conversations with life, which is what I wanted to talk a bit more about with you, because this has been so pivotal in your process. So would you like to share a little bit more about what conversations with life has, when you've seen things through this new lens? how it's changed your your life?

26:34

Yes, absolutely. So maybe for anyone who doesn't know. So conversations with life is really is that I guess that understanding this deep, profound understanding that everything is interconnected. So we're not separate from life, we are part of life. And life is always communicating to us. Life is always supporting us and deeply cares about us and really seeing that there's meaning in everything. So it's, it's such a beautiful way of really experiencing that and looking at life. And, like you said, conversations with actually, actually is, is the embodiment of the trust piece, like given me so much. Yeah, a lot of the trust that I have in life and myself today really stems from that understanding, which I'm so grateful for. And when I think back at how I felt before I knew about conversations with life, and yeah, what has changed ever since. I guess, before I knew about this work, I had this core belief that life doesn't want me to have what I really, really want. Yeah. And it's actually interesting that that comes now. Because, yeah, just given what I've just talked about, that that part of that is also I really wanted that wanted to be that makeup artist and, but know that that wasn't happening. So obviously, there's, there's so much more to that. But that's also a component of that. But generally, I always felt a lot of shame and guilt around beautiful things in my life. And often didn't really talk about that, like I would always find it easier to talk about all of the challenging bits and the things that weren't right. Because I had this underlying fear that the moment I would really acknowledge all of the beauty that there is in my life, that would go away, because I wasn't really meant to have that. And that life would really step in and punish me really for having too much. And I actually remember a conversation that I had with one of my best friends, and that was back at uni. And he said, in our conversation, he said D actually realise that we always get what we want. And that didn't come from that didn't come from a place of, you know, self being self entitled or anything. It was just this like deep acknowledgement of do you actually realise what's happening? Like we always we really always get what we want. And I remember having this moment where I'm like, Oh my gosh, yeah, that's true, but that's not really a good thing. It was like this fear that came up. Well, oh, yes, I actually that's true. Like, I've got too much, I'm receiving too much. And when I think of marriage, she's actually got this really beautiful analogy when it comes to conversations with life, where she says, Well To the extent that life is like a loving parent really taking us by the hand and guiding us through life. When I look at myself, at the time, life wasn't a loving parent to me the way I perceived it anyway, life was this harsh parent that always that would always tell me not to take too much and that I didn't need the things that I was really desiring. Yeah, and I don't know, maybe you remember that, through our mmm T training. One of the most challenging bits, or the biggest pieces that I had to work through when it came to conversations with life was really, there's not interpreting messages from life in a negative way, or in a punitive way. They always had this negative connotation to me, it was, that was one of the biggest. Yeah, I

30:59

can add a little bit in here, in a sense that, like, it's interesting, when we our beliefs, the imprints that we bring from our childhood, we hear the think about the amount of times that we hear things like, Well, don't ask for too much, you know, you're being greedy, or don't you can't have your cake and eat it too. Or, you know, all of these things that we varying forms that we glean from the world around us. And so when we really, it can be hard to ask for the things that we really are wanting or desiring. So that's one point. But then also, the bit about, well, life's here to punish you like that, well, you've you've made a mistake here. So this is now coming back to punish you for that error, or for the way you behaved here, you're now being punished. I think for me as well, that was a big flipping, like, realising and trusting that life was here to, to love us and to support us and to show us, you know, where we're going next. And when we have that really rich and deep conversation with life. And life could be somebody's you could also interchange, you know, God or faith or whatever you'd like to be conversation with life? Is that conversation with something greater than, you know, with all the things that are around us? The things we can't see. And yeah, it was a big flip for me to interpreting the the messages or looking for the message in it rather than the RC This is life, just showing me that I'm not meant to have that thing.

32:42

Yes, yeah.

32:45

This is what you were talking about, you know, in in when you first started looking at life this way.

32:52

Yes. So it's a message rather than a lesson. It's yeah, yeah.

32:57

Yeah, we're not You're not being punished for something. It's, it's actually well, what is here in this, and what's it showing me? And what's the message? And where's the path forward? I think that was a big shift for me, too.

33:12

Yeah. Yeah. I love how you said that. Actually. It's the path forward. It's what's the next piece and really guiding us to that next case? Yeah.

33:21

So now we've sort of know what conversations with life is. Do you want to give us some examples? Like how does this actually look in? For people that are like, what are they actually talking about? We're kind of at the moment, it's a bit of a concept out there. Like we have talked a little bit about conversations with life in the Marian episode. But it's sort of like, oh, it's kind of talking about out here. Let's bring it down into some real life examples of what this might look like. Because then people can kind of go, oh, okay, let's see how I can start to look around and see what last showing me. What's, yeah, give us some of you because you have heaps, I know you have so many examples.

34:08

Living this last year. Yes. And I'd love to share, I'd actually love to share one of the more recent conversations and it is an it has been an ongoing conversations, a conversation for a few months now, which is so profound and so beautiful. And this is all around money. What happened? So it's been a year now that we've been travelling that I haven't been working as in you know, working in a permanent job, I've actually So earlier this year, I birth my business so now I guess it was self employed. And when we my partner also led golf his career and he has his own business. Now he's a consultant. So there's a lot have changed. And when we started talking about the trips are from really having this idea of, oh my gosh, let's really change our lives to, we're leaving home, it was a year. And we never had a budget. And that was something Dan and I talked about a lot. Because we had this there was this, we obviously had the sense of we should really now you know, start a budget because he probably Yeah. And then we want to go travelling and we don't, you know, we're not going to have our jobs anymore. But pretty quickly, we started to realise budgeting was not really working for us. And it hadn't in the past. We're always very much the kind of people that just wanted to experience. And yeah, we did a lot of travelling, and we saw a lot of incredible places in the world. So we had a hard time trying to budget for this trip. Which wasn't, it wasn't a problem, really, because when we started travelling, Dan was on long service leave, that was fine. It was a steady income stream. And then he was actually on a contract for six months. And so I guess for the first nine months, there was still a steady stream of income coming in, we didn't really have to worry, there was savings, we didn't have to worry about money, and all of that. And then after nine months, that out of the sudden stopped. So there was no predictable income at the time, we just didn't know what was coming in when. And we started to realise that that's a very different experience. So entrepreneurship and being self employed is a very different experience from having a permanent job where you know, every fortnight that amount of money is coming in. Yep. And that was the first time that money really became a topic for us where we started to talk about it, and where we also started to worry a bit about it, and where we're like, Well, are we actually gonna be okay, like, is this? Was that a good idea? So we're having those conversations. But I really want to say, Never, we have had a conversation about money in front of the kids. That was something that Dan and I, you know, once it gets 1/3, we'll talk about and share our thoughts on it. But it was never in front of the kids. And that is the that's incredible part of the story. Because what happened was that exactly at that time, our kids began to obsess about money when it never been something that was actually a thing for them. So obviously, you know, you go shopping, and I know that I tap a card, but there was never really talk around that. So kids would start to talk about money, and what would happen, they would find money. It didn't matter where we would go, whether it be to the playground, to the beach, to the forest, it honestly didn't matter. They would find coins wherever we went. It was the most incredible thing. And of course, they would save it. And then they would sit at home and they would count their money. And they would go mama look at look how much money I've got. I've got so much money.

38:48

It would take all day it was there was that time where it? I mean, I saw that message there early and very clearly. And it was incredible. But it was also that it was overwhelming because it was so in our face. They'd be Yeah, like several times throughout the day where it'd be like, can you sit with me? Can I show you my money? Can you look at all the money that I've got? Yeah, I mean, what one part of conversations with life is children, as messengers. And you remember when we did the training together? That was such a beautiful pace. We often had a conversation about that, because I was so new to that. And yeah, I just remember, like a lot of the times that you offered your perspectives, it was so helpful for me. And yeah, so that was his ongoing conversation with the kids and that helped us so much to become so comfortable with the fact that we are now self employed. We don't know what's coming in when always and that is absolutely fine because look at how much money we've got. So now A couple of weeks ago, so it had always been coins basically don't find a $2 coin or dollar coin or 20 cent 50 cent. It was a fair amount that came together. But a couple of weeks ago, we were in Berlin. And I took the boys shopping and we walked through this park. And they found a $50 note. Wow. Wow. Yes. And the most incredible part about that is that very morning off that day, I had a meditations I was meditating, something I do in the mornings before everyone gets up. And I actually connected with inner loving money that day. And so in a loving money, it's part of Marion's few years ago, I did herb psychospiritual money cause which was so profound and incredible. And I guess it's part of the inner loving presence process, having this developing inner loving presence around money. And it had been a huge part of my life for quite some time. And I enjoyed that so much. But that particular presence I hadn't really connected to in a loving money in quite some time. But that morning, I did. And yeah, she said, or, you know, those beautiful things like I love being with you, I'm always going to be with you. And a couple of hours later, I go shopping with the boys. And yeah, they found a $50. Note it was. So in it's amazing conversation.

41:47

I love that so much. There's so much in there that I want to pull apart and pull out. But just as in just to highlight because it's so incredible. And this is how this is how we can start to see the things that are happening to us and wonder with curiosity of like, Oh, what, what is this message here? Or what is this, you know, what is life trying to communicate with me here, and I just love that it was like, where you'll find the money, you'll find money wherever you go. Because they would pick up the coins wherever they would go. And look how much money we've got, we're okay, we're fine. We don't need to, we can trust this and don't need to stress about it and obsess over it, I just find that so beautiful. Like, I think a few years ago, I wouldn't have had that lens. And then with this, it's powerful. And the more you see these things happen, the more you can trust it, I think. And then also the inner loving, I just want to talk a little bit about the inner loving presences, which is a process that Marianne teachers and it's often where we are talking with an inner it's an inner, it's an inner presence, it's within it's in the middle of meditation, or a mindfulness practice, or a quiet time, it can be in a journal, but often we develop an inner world of you know, in a loving mother in a loving Father, in a loving best friend. And in a loving money is one of these and I found the connecting, because money is an energetic exchange. And we often all of us have many different imprints around money, whether it was scarce, whether it was there was you know, lots of non, not much of it, you know, we've got a lot of things around money, many of us. And I just love that you are able to connect with your inner presence, your inner loving money and just have them there and say, I'm here with you, and I'm want to bring you all the things and I want to hang around and I want to come to you. And then you picked up the fifth deal. And I just think that's amazing.

44:00

Yeah, that was absolutely beautiful. And, you know, the beautiful thing as well, with particular, our children being missed, like in that capacity. It's so beautiful to also then bring that back to them because of course, we're having conversations about this, you know, at home with our kids, and I just love that they're growing up with this with those perspectives. And yeah, that sense of yeah, this is this is actually life, you know?

44:35

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And and to clarify that too, for others. The messages from life like often our kids, it's like hearing the different layers that they might be speaking to us in so say our kids are playing and all of a sudden they're shouting out something and it's quiet. It doesn't quite make sense or do It's like, not within the context of the game that they're playing. Or maybe they come in to us. And this happens always in a session with children come in. And they will say one thing that is actually really relevant to what's going on for you. So it's like hearing what our kids are saying. Because often they have, they're a lot more in tune with the world around them than often we are. They're very connected to their bodies, children can be very present. And they will say stuff that's like really relevant to us. And you think, Oh, wow, that's a message for us. So that's, I just wanted to clarify that as well. That's what the conversations with life or like messages from our kids can can look like.

45:48

Yeah, thank you, Shelly. I think one

45:51

of the very clear ones that stand out for me with my kids as being messages from life, and I've already shared this on Marion's podcast too, but it was I was pregnant with my, with our third I was like, 41 weeks like I was really ready for this baby to come. And I was in a session with Marian, we're on Zoom, I was on the computer in one of the bedrooms and the kids were all in the bath with my husband or he was in the bath getting them out of the bath. And wait, she had just said well, maybe we could ask the baby like when when is he ready to come? You know? Is he ready to come out? You know, how's the baby feeling? And so I was connecting him with baby had my hand on my belly and saying okay, baby, I'm ready whenever you are. I really trust your timing. I trust that you'll come whenever you're ready. And next minute my he would have been five at the time five year old my oldest yells out screams out from the bathroom. I'm ready to get out now. And like screens at the top of his lungs, I'm ready to get out now. And the bit about this. That's interesting is my husband was in the bathroom with him. So he didn't need to yell that out. Like that's the these are the moments where conversations with lifelike are. Thank you. Okay. All right. Baby's ready. Were already like, we're ready to go now. And I just got that message. So clearly, it was one of the ones that I was like, Ha, okay, wow, kids really like this is it was you can't make it up. That's what when we do this work, and you have this lens. So many things happen that you're like, wow, we you just can't make it up.

47:31

Yes. So great. It's that yeah, it's that moment over and over again, like, you know, the work and yet it's every time I walk. It's mind blowing? Yeah.

47:45

Yeah, that's one example. Do you want to just give us another example of a conversation with life that you've had?

47:55

Yeah. So another one I was actually only thinking about recently was, and that was that happen at a time where we're doing the mmm T training together. And it also ties into what I was just talking about. And then and I find it. So this is online coach that I've been following for quite some time, and that I absolutely adore. And during our lemon tea training, I felt this really strong calling to enter her. So she's got like a year long membership, I guess where he says to all of our programmes, and I really think that this really strong core towards signing up for that member. But it was a huge investment. It was so much money. And that was also a time where Jen and I were talking about Shall we start a budget? And so I was like, No, I can't, you know, like, that's so contradictory if I can't be doing on budgets, and you know, spending, like 1000s and 1000s of dollars on self development. But yeah, I felt this. And I talked to Dan about it. And he was actually use completely fine. And he was already so much in this. I trust you like if that's what you want to do. I trust that. That's right, and your next step, but there was still that part of me. And I think the biggest concern that I had was that somehow me spending this amount of money will take away from our experience as a family. So I remember, there was a day where I went for a walk on and property that we were living at the time in the afternoon or go for a walk every day, which was so beautiful. And as I'm walking through the plantation, I was thinking again tuning into, should I shall I sign up so they're not thinking about that. And as I'm contemplate if I look up and and on the path that I'm walking on, a few metres away from me is this huge, giant black feral pig. And that was the first time and yes, there's there's pixel implantation of that I had never seen one though. And we've lived there for I think, in the end seven years. So this huge pig is right in front of me. And I froze. And I'll take. And I started to panic because it was basically open field. And all I could think was I have to get to a tree like, I need to get near the tree so I can get into the trees. And yeah, we say, yeah. So I started running across the paddock. And I didn't even look back once I just kept running. And as I get to the other end, I turned around, and the pee hadn't rolled, it was still in the same spot. And it was looking at me, like, oh, my gosh, and then at one point, a couple of minutes later, it just started to walk off. And didn't even really like, you know, there was there was not a single part of that pic that wanted to chase me or anything, all of the things that I've made up in my head. And I remember coming into our Voxer, our group boxer that afternoon because I knew straight away that was a such a clear message from life. And I think it was, and she said something like the word to the extent of fear, like learning coexisting with your fears. And that was so much what it was, for me it was that the fear of you know, making that investment, and that somehow taking away from our experience as a family. It was there, it was present. And it wasn't actually it was nothing that I had to really worry about. And really seeing that, yes, I can have fear but I can also coexist the fear and I we can coexist, and that it's safe. And it was actually the next day that I signed up for the membership. And I have not, it just came to an end actually, I think it was a couple of weeks ago, sharing on my Facebook, that you now come to an end. And I am so grateful that I was part of that I'd sign up again, anytime. And I made this decision at the space from this conversation that gave me so much faith and so much trust. Yeah, is incredible.

52:51

Wow. I love that. Like it was a message of like, you don't need to run from this because you ran you ran from this pig and and there was no need to hit you didn't move. And so that realisation or that experience of like, oh, I can be afraid and I don't need to run from this. And yeah, you can coexist. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I have a really clear one as well with conversations with life. It was about a year ago. No, it was actually a year ago. It's like December last year. And we were sort of deciding on whether what direction I go with in terms of a physio clinic, like building a bigger clinic, or, you know, what am I doing with my work? And we were really, really close to creating a bigger imperson clinic here in Adelaide. And I went to the beach one morning. It was like do we do we don't really what am I doing we need to kind of decide on this or it's it was getting closer to making some big decisions. And I walked to the beach one day, and it was really windy outside like really blowing a gale. And so I was expecting when I got to the beach, there to be really big waves because that's you know, when it's really windy, the waves are huge at our beach. And when I got down there, it was really eerie. And it was flat. It was dead flat. The water might This is so strange. It wasn't it doesn't normally it's not normally like this. And when I got down to the beach and right along the water, the wind was actually going in the opposite direction to what it normally does. So it was an offshore like off offshore wind so it was going in the opposite direction. So the waves were really flat and it was like this rippling dead flat water but little ripples that would sort of go out to sea. And I was standing there going this is such What is this conversation with life here what's happening right now and when we look at conversations with life, it's really about tuning in to what around you what what signs are you noticing what phrase Are you hearing on the radio what you know What is something that someone said? what's showing up? What are you what, you know, what is around you? And what, what's there? And what's often the literal, literal kind of interpretation of it. So I was like, the wind is going in the opposite direction. Hmm, what opposite direction? Do I need to go in here like this was it felt so? Visceral for me in my body? I'm like, Oh, hang on. There's something here for me, we need to go in an opposite direction. And I came home to my husband and said, not, we're not going to do that. We're not going to this clinic. And that we made a decision, like, based on the direction of the wind. Which sounds so crazy, but it's like, it was such a knowing of like, yeah, actually, I need to go in a different direction here. The wind is shot, you know, it's this is and what is that? And it just, it really helped consolidate that for me.

55:59

That is, I love that, Shelley. And, and now because yeah, we talked about that clinic before, too, is I think, was a huge piece. I absolutely love that. You trusted that. And such a huge decision based on the direction of the wind. But yes, it's Yeah. I love that. It's exactly the work.

56:20

Yeah. And it's not like, I won't go back there. It might be it just wasn't the right time for right. Yeah. Amen. You know, like, it's, and so yeah, it's just, this is the magic, I suppose in conversations with life. It's like looking at if, you know, I think the for me beforehand, I'm not sure if this is relevant for you. But before understanding this, say my printer wasn't working, or the computer wasn't working, or I was trying to upload something and it wasn't to plan, I would get really frustrated, like, Oh, this is not working. Why is this not working? This always happens to me, computers never worked for me, blah, blah, blah. And I had that story. And I would get so angry and frustrated and all the other things. And now if something's not working, I'm like, Hmm, okay, do I really want to send this? Or do I really want to sign up for this? Or if the carts not loading? Do I really want to buy it? Like, do I, you know, it helps me to look at things a little differently. And, you know, even if I lose a big chunk of work that I've just written, I used to get so angry and frustrated and anxious about those things. And now I'm like, oh, okay, maybe that wasn't meant to be written just yet, or people weren't meant to hear that right now. And it just, it gives me a different way of being in the world, I think.

57:46

Absolutely. Yeah. I couldn't agree more. It's that it's the trust, and there's so much, yeah, just so much more meaning, but in a really beautiful, supportive way. I'm like with those technical glitches, or be like, oh, gosh, this is always happening to me why and then try and force it, and then of course, it will get worse. Whereas now, it's just able to really step back, but not in a way of, I have to remove myself from the situation, but in a way, I trust that this is right now. Not meant to be the thing that I'm doing, and that's absolutely okay. And there's so much calm and peace that comes with that.

58:30

Yeah, yeah, I, I certainly have had that same experience. Even just yesterday, actually, my, one of my kids are bent down. One of my kids was sitting on the floor, and I bent down to kind of help him get up, but he jumped up, and like, whacked me in the nose. And I swear, like, I heard a crunch. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I've broken my nose. This is only yesterday. And so, obviously, it was really painful to start with. But then half an hour later an hour later, I was driving home and I thought hmm, I wonder what this means like broke my nose like I thought I might have broken my nose so like I'm even now kind of just on the lookout with a conversation with life like where you know where have I broken my nose as in like my yeses or my nose? Like what is a know that I'm that I'm not honouring or, you know, you're not quite sure sometimes what the message is, but it's within the conversation that that becomes really clear. And so yeah, like it's now a bruised nose. Like it's you know, I'm now going oh, it's quite sore. Thought it was broken. It's not broken but it was certainly kind of crashed his smashed into it or he cracked it that there was a big crack. So where are their where's their crack in my in my No. My nose, like so it's like actually, I love Conversations LIVE because it's like it's very literally And, you know, it was my nose. So, yeah, yeah. Hopefully that makes sense for people.

1:00:07

Yeah. And that's why it's so powerful, I guess, to also have someone who knows the work and to radiate that exchange and talk about it, or even writing it down like that sometimes has helped me as well. Because, like you say, often it's quite literal. So yeah, it's, I love that. It really takes me back that conversation we're having now to Allah.

1:00:31

Yeah, and you're right. It is like having these where you can kind of back and forth a bit, because you will probably hear something in it. That means that you go, Oh, it's probably this and you go, Oh, does that resonate? Run it through my body and go oh, yeah, actually that does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. That is, and it's like, like you said, journaling is a really lovely way for those listening that think, Oh, what, how do we start this, you know, journaling back and forth, even just stopping for a moment and having a look around and seeing what's around you. And what you're noticing, coming into containers, my reclaim course that I'm doing, we talk about this, the you know, Lena will talk a bit more about her work, you know, coming in and finding containers where you can start to unpack this, these conversations is really helpful.

1:01:19

Yeah, absolutely. And with what you said, as well, that just being being present, and initially, what has really helped me conversations with life, when I was really learning about it was being present and being in nature. Because a lot of fly messages have come through with cloud formations or encounters with animals, I remember I had this conversation where I could see, like, the way the bird was flapping its wings or particular track, an animal footprint track that I saw. So nature is really, to me is a really powerful source. And then obviously, our children as well. But we have to be present in order to really tune in the message that is so important.

1:02:12

Yeah, I love that reminder to, would you like to tell everyone listening, where they can find you what you're offering at the moment, because like I said, this is really, this is such beautiful work. And this is how we do come back into ourselves by by being really present to what's going on for us or noticing, like, what was going on in your body when you saw that pig and where you are when you're running from it and like really being present to our own bodily sensations. So it's helpful to have someone facilitate that. So yes, would you like to tell us a little bit more about where we can find you?

1:02:55

Yeah, so I guess the best way of following me and experiencing my work is on Facebook on my profile, which is Anna Lena. And that's where I love writing, I write a lot and where I share a lot about things that I'm moving through working through perspectives that I'm having, and also where you can find the work that I offer. So at the moment, I'm offering mentoring, three or six month mentoring containers. That's there's a lot that goes into that work. And now that I'm a certified, very limited mentor, I'm more and more weaving that work into into the mentoring work as well. So what I love about those one on one containers is that it's really flexible. So you can really tailor it to whatever the person is looking for or desiring. So it can be a basic conversations of life can be a big part of it or not part of it as a better one. And the other thing I've got, and this is really new, I started a telegram channel, free break group on telegram where I started to share more about, I guess, things that I'm working through myself and were also shared practices. I recently shared a heart opening practice that I do for myself, which is really powerful. I'm actually just working on recording a meditation. It's a really beautiful way for me to express myself more and even more intimate and yet so anyone who's interested can join but enough there's no ability that you can put that in there.

1:04:50

We'll get the link for that and we'll put it in the show notes so that people if they are connecting with Lena more and coming and joining that The telegram group because that is beautiful, and it's amazing. I think I love I love, love, love you're sharing on Facebook, I honestly, if anyone listening, you know, follow Lina there because her writing is so beautiful. It's so incredibly transformative. You know, whenever she writes and I read her work, it's literally like I am there in the scene that you are describing. Honestly, I can't wait for you to write your book one day. I don't even know if you want to write a book. But I would read your book.

1:05:33

Thank you so much.

1:05:34

Because it's, it's just such a beautiful way of describing that experience. And it's so that the presence that it brings, it brings us back into our bodies, it brings us into that grounded in the moment. And I think that is, it's it's such, it's so powerful. And so thank you for all that you are doing with this work and with supporting mothers and women to come back to themselves and to do this work and to and to work through our stories and imprints because it's it's really powerful. So thank you.

1:06:12

Thank you so much, Shelley. And thank you so much for giving me that opportunity to be on the podcast. I really enjoyed it as my first podcast interview, and I'm so glad that was with you.

1:06:25

Thank you has been amazing. And honestly, I could I agree with you in terms of being in you know, getting into nature, or whenever we are in nature really having a look around us because I love your you have so many stories around conversations with life. Because I think you are in the in tea and you're in nature all the time as you're travelling and you're on the road. And there's just, I just love hearing your stories around around how you see it, because it's inspiring for me, it's inspiring for other people to go, oh, wow, what what am I missing? When we're so disconnected from ourselves? What are we missing? And whereas when we come back to ourselves, we see more we can we realise that everything's interconnected. So honestly, thank you so much for living this and for taking that plunge and for, you know, building this life of what you've dreamed up, because it hasn't been easy. You've worked through a lot of stuff to get to what you're doing. And I think some people think, Oh, that's okay. Like, that's just for them. Like I would never be able to change my life in such a drastic way. But that's where you guys were.

1:07:40

Yeah, absolutely. And the thing that is, I find particularly powerful as well is we've done that as a couple. And that has also been such a journey. Because I mean, I, I never thought if you would have told me even three years ago that that was what we're going to create one day, I would have definitely not believed it, there's no way that I would have thought at the time that I could actually yet live, create something like this. But doing it as a couple with Dan together, like all of this, like the inner work that was so profound, and that I'm actually even more proud of that we've managed to find a way to really move through this together. And that we can have those conversations because like we said, it's so much richer to have someone we can talk to about those experiences. And I'm so grateful that Dan and I, we can have this conversation we can sit down and you know, actually going back to Conversations with life when this whole money thing started to come up. There was one day for example, we were he found a silver coin. And it was a particular day where he was worried about the whole thing and a silver thing that you can put on a neck place. And it it said it had an angel on it, and it said protected by angels. And he found this. And then a little while later on the same day, he found a little angel to sit in like tiny little statue thing on the ground and he came home and he shared it with me. He's like look, and he saw the message in that and yeah, that's one that I'm really proud of. And then and I we have been talking about creating something for couples together in the future. Because I know for a fact like it can be challenging to bring that work to our partners. Because men obviously have a completely different experience again from us and often the imprints their imprints run even deeper. Buy. Yep. So yeah, it's.

1:10:06

Yeah, it is. It's so incredible. And thank you for sharing that. And I yeah, I think that would be an amazing offering for people to have partners to be able to work through these things. And it's about also, yeah, creating that life that you really, really want. What lights us up? What's, what's the Yes? What's the know what, what's life showing us? I think it's just a beautiful way of of being in the world. So thank you so much for coming on today. Is there anything else that you had to wanted to say or had on your little things that we've missed? Or we

1:10:42

know I think we covered everything.

1:10:49

Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on. Lena. It's been a pleasure. And we'll speak to you soon.

1:10:55

Thank you, Shelley.

Shelley Clarke  1:10:56

Thank you for listening. This episode was brought to you by 21 days of play, my self paced course to help bring more play into your every day. Thank you so much for listening. I would love to know your thoughts and feelings and to continue the conversation. You can connect with me on Instagram and Facebook @_ShelleyClarke_ If you'd like to keep in the loop for all my resources and offerings as they happen, you can join my mailing list at www.shelleyclarke.com Thank you for all you are doing. Your parenting is important and powerful. Have a lovely day. Bye for now.