A moment of pause to take stock on the year that's been with Shelley Clarke

In the final solo episode for 2022, listen as host Shelley Clarke shares with us a moment of pause as she reflects and celebrates on the year that's been. As humans wired to be looking forward to achieving the next thing, we can quite often forget to take stock and celebrate, join Shelley as she encourages us to pause and do the same.

In this episode you'll hear about:
- Shelley's intention for the year as she began 2022
- how intention coupled with action can create beautiful momentum
- why it is important to celebrate the things we don't often see as parents
- how Shelley is 'listening to life' and what that looks like for her in 2023
- how thankful she is for each and every podcast listener 

21 days of play course

Continue the conversation with Shelley here:
https://www.facebook.com/shelleyclarkemindbodyparenting
https://www.instagram.com/_shelleyclarke_/

This podcast is produced by Nikki O'Brien from Quintessential Being

Transcript

 Shelley Clarke  00:00

I wish to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the lands I live on. I pay my respects to the Kaurna people elders past and present, and honour their ongoing traditions. Welcome to the mind body parenting podcast. I'm your host, Shelley Clarke. Here I talk about all things mind and body and how this relates to ourselves and our parenting. I envision a world where children are seen and heard, and parents feel supported and less alone. Join me here in the power of story, expert knowledge and lived experiences. Let's dive in. Today's episode is brought to you by kids in Adelaide. All the best events, activities, places to visit and things to do with your kids in Adelaide and around South Australia, visit www.kidsinadelaide.com.au. Hello, and welcome back to the mind body parenting podcast. I'm your host, Shelley Clarke. And today it is the final episode of the year, another solo episode from me all about celebration, and celebrating the year that has been and taking a moment to pause and take stock of you know, the year. And this is something that I wanted to do. And I wanted to offer it as well to those listening to do the same in your life and to pause for a moment and celebrate and look back on the year because quite often, our brains are wired to move on to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and we forget to stop and celebrate and look back to where we've come from, to see kind of the progress or the see see what we've done for the year and really celebrate our growth and our learning and our family. And, and all the things it's really really easy for our, our brains to reach a goal or to do something, achieve something, finish something and then straightaway move on to the next thing. And we're always looking we can be always looking forward as to what's next and what's next and what's next. And it means that we sometimes and I certainly am guilty of this of not really being present in the moment. And I can always feel like I'm never I'm never there or I'm never able to haven't reached that thing yet. And I'm you know what's next and what's next, rather than actually just pausing for a moment and celebrating what you've done for the year. So that's what I wanted to talk about today. Okay, so where to start, I just wanted to say I do find talking about the things we've done quite hard, I think in the culture that we've all grown up in, you know, we're conditioned to not talk about ourselves, or it might appear like we're bragging or some of these other things that we've internalised from the domination culture that we grew up in. But what I really wanted to do is share the things that I've done during the year, but also in a way of celebration and hoping that it might encourage you to just take a moment and look at look at what your years been and, and really find things to celebrate. Because then when we do we orient towards finding those things in our life. Sometimes I know I can certainly get stuck in. I'm not, I'm not getting anywhere, or in the days where I feel like it's hard. And I'm like, Wow, I feel like I'm treading water and you're in the trenches. And I feel like my business isn't getting anywhere or any of these things when actually, that isn't the case. And so when we aren't towards celebration and finding those joyful things, and looking at the things we've done, means that we we gravitate towards seeing those things in our day, week and year. So, you know, and this is a bit of a practice for me to actually stop and celebrate and acknowledge that so that I'm wiring myself more and more to see those joyful things to see the you know, to be grateful for things to notice the hard parts, but also all the things that you know, that I've done in the year. So you know this Yeah, this is what why I wanted to do this episode. I hope that it you might find some things in your year that you can celebrate as well. So let's do business first, because I know there's probably many people listening out there that are mums that potentially have their own business or wanting to build their own business. And I see you it is so hard because you're juggling it many, many different things. So I want to say if it feels like you're wanting to, you're trying to work out what you're doing with your work, after having kids or during kids and finding your purpose and passion in life, outside of, you know just mothering when I say just, I mean, you know, the mother identity, but, you know, finding that that other part, that it can feel like you're not getting anywhere. And I've certainly felt that for several years. And so my intention for this year with my business was to get things out into the world, I've had many years of writing journals and diaries, and writing out Ideas and Brainstorming and thinking up different things that I can offer. And what I'd like to see change and, and so this year, was all about getting things out of my diary and into the world, or out of my journals and into the world into into action. So at the start of the year, I can't believe it's only been the start of the year, actually, when I look at it, I launched my new website. So we launched the new website and new branding, including launching 21 days of play, which is the self paced play course, which I really love that little course It's 21 day is and it's jam packed with play ideas. And so when I think back, I'm like, wow, that was just the start of this year. It has been a huge year, even just writing out these things to talk about, I actually paused for a moment and went, Wow, my intention was to get some things out of my journal and into the world. And I've done that it's happened. So that launched in February. And then I also launched the podcast, this podcast in March. And at the start of the year, I wrote out some intentions. And I was really willing, and did a willingness practice, which I'll talk more about in the New Year, in the first episode next year around the willingness and take you through a willingness practice. But I do a willingness practice, which is really worth writing out all the things that I was wanting for the year and for the podcast. And I'd written out that I wanted to do 40 episodes of a podcast and I would add the Saturday I didn't even have a podcast. And the beautiful Nikki from quintessential being, she helps producers, the podcast. And at the start of the year, she put out a post saying, I'm here to you know, get you started on your podcast. And so I messaged her and signed up straightaway to work with her. And we got the podcast out and launched in March. And we have done 46 episodes. So this will be 47th episode for the year. So my intention at the start of the year was to do 40 episodes. And we did 47. And I'm really I can't, yeah, I'm still it's these moments, it's talking about it, sharing about it, celebrating the fact that like, wow, actually, I have a podcast. And I'm so thankful to every single one of you that has listened to this podcast this year. I have loved making it. I've loved producing it. I've loved the interviews, I said really early on to my husband, that this is the thing I didn't know I needed in my life, I knew I wanted to make a podcast, but it's so nourishing for me to have these conversations with interviewing people and talking about these things. It really feels like it's filled a place in my heart that I didn't even know was there. I said to Matt, my husband that I get to have conversations with people that love this work as much as I do. And then I'm not, you know, chewing his ear off all the time and going on and on about you know, parenting and the body and the nervous system and trauma and all these things that I love to learn about, you know, I get to share it and have share it with all of you that are listening. And I get to have these beautiful conversations with other people in the world that that love this as equally as much as I do. So thank you, firstly, to all of you that have listened all year. Yeah, the podcast has been a big part of this year and I'm really really proud of of it and and just wanted to celebrate that. For me that it's it's out in the world. We've got 40 eights, we've got 47 episodes out. Next year, I've got a huge list of people that I would love to interview and more topics that you know more more things to talk about. So that has been certainly something to celebrate this year for me. And it's had eight and a half 1000 downloads, which I still am so grateful for. It's not like a huge, ginormous podcast. But that means the world to me, and I still pinch myself that people listen, are people listening? Yeah, thanks so much for listening. And so I'm really you Yeah, I'm really proud of that of that. And yeah, I can't believe that I've had that many downloads. So thank you to everyone that has listened this year. What else with business this year, I had 100 people join the reset challenge 100 people sign up for the reset challenge, which was in July. So the reset challenge was three nights of, you know, resetting your family, shifting that power struggle and the battles and understanding, you know, our part in it, what's going on for our kids, and then, you know, some action steps that we can take. And that was really, really exciting. And I can't believe that, you know, I had that many people join and watch it, and join live and watch the replays. And then one of the other huge things that I did this year was run and create reclaim yourself and your parenting, which is a nine week programme, that I ran at the end of the reset challenge. So that went for nine weeks, and I had 22 people, parents come and actually that was 22 families really, because there was actually a lot of couples that joined, which was really exciting. And it's all about understanding yourself and our reactions to our children and managing our own feelings that come up. And how that dynamic plays out with our kids. And then meeting our children and listening and holding space and play. And I really really love I love love loved running that and supporting parents with this, you know, with shifting the paradigm that they parent from. So that was really, really exciting. So course wise website wise podcast. And alongside the parenting aspect of of my work. I was doing CST sessions. So I think I looked up this morning, I did over 600 CST sessions this year. So I'm forever grateful for the body work and walking alongside the people that I get to sit with every day, in person in hands on sessions. Yeah, over 600 sessions this year. And, you know, yeah, profound changes happen when we shift the body and when we come back into balance with our body. So if you are listening and want to try cranial sacral therapy, I would absolutely hand on heart recommend it to anyone, I love this modality. So wherever you are listening, you can look up cranial sacral therapy in your area, and fingers crossed, there's someone that, you know, that uses this modality that you can have a tryout if you want to. And if you are here in Adelaide, then my books are reopening again, in the new year, I had to close them down to new patients towards the end of this year, because it was just so busy. But next year, I will be opening up some more CST hours. So cranial sacral therapy spots. So if you're here in Adelaide and want to give it a try, you can head on to my website, and you can book online. So yeah, I'm just celebrating all of those things. I also did to two cranial sacral therapy, trainings this year, I went to America and did my advanced CST training. And last weekend I did for a course on the brain. So treating the brain deepening our palpation of structures in the brain, and which is really, really incredible. So also want to celebrate that. And I always I now also want to acknowledge that, you know, I feel very, very lucky. And I really acknowledged and feel very privileged to be able to go and do professional development and learning. So I'm really, really grateful to my family and to for Matt, who, you know, held the fort down while I went and did some some professional development. So that was another thing to celebrate this year. So I think they're the they're the main work, things that I wanted to talk about and to, to really kind of, yeah, look back on this year and celebrate and say thank you for listening to the podcast. Thank you for downloading. Oh, the other thing is I probably did a half a dozen free downloadable things, email campaigns. So yeah, I just really want to say thank you to anyone that has followed me supported me, downloaded something, listened to the podcast, it has been a magical year. And I would say that the things have come out of my journals and starting to build that you know, the work of my work in the world. So I just wanted to acknowledge that and say thank you to everyone that has been a part of that for this year. So So, I know not all of you are creating your own businesses or have a business. And so I also wanted to do a bit of a celebration for my family life. Because I know certainly when my kids were little, sometimes it would feel like it was, you know, a bit of a merry go around hamster wheel. Same thing day in, day out, and it can feel like, well, wow, this has been a hard year or a tough year, but I don't really know what we've done. And it's not about doing things. It's not I certainly a long time ago, shifted. My self worth as a mother and a person isn't tied up in what I achieve, or what I get done in a day. There are many days where I stay in my pyjamas all day and rest and sleep and they are equally as important days as the days we might produce things or achieve things. So it's not about this podcast isn't about saying all the things that we've done so that we feel, you know, fills up that, that that worthiness piece, it's certainly not that this is about celebrating the things as a parent and noticing the things that you've held. And, and sometimes it's even, it's noticing the things that that no one else sees, and that that that are deeply important. And so, yes, I've done all these things in my work for the year that I really wanted to celebrate and take take, you know, take note of, but I also wanted to talk about the things that often we don't see. So that if you are in the early stages, or if you're deep in the parenting part of your life, and not so much the work part, but that you can do this as well, you can stop for a moment and look back at the year and think, Wow, this is what I've done for the year and look at all these things. So well, my three kids, they turned 10, eight and four this year. So we've supported our 10 year old three year for our eight year old three year two. And our four year old has been home with Matt and I. And there has been many, many hours of listening to tears. And I want to celebrate that. I want to celebrate the hours and hours we've spent playing. We're going to celebrate that too. Because these are the things that often go unrecognised and unacknowledged as parents, because this is one of the most important, this is the most important role that you will ever do. This is the most important job that you will ever have, in our put job in kind of italics but because it's a relationship, and it's but it's it's often unrecognised in in modern society and pausing to take note and celebrating the things. So we have all had COVID this year, so we had 10 days of isolate, no, we did 14 days of isolation at the start of the year. I did seven days of isolation in March. So we've navigated sickness, that's a lot that's like we can celebrate getting through that because when family is sick when your kids are sick, it's so much extra work. It's hard. And I know families that have supported their kids through really big surgeries this year, and multiple surgeries for their kids. And that's if you're at the end of the year, and you're looking back and going well. What did we do this year, or what happened this year, and you go well, well, this wasn't had surgery, and this one had surgery, and this this happened and this was sick. And that's you're celebrating kind of getting through those hard things because it takes a lot of energy and work to, to navigate these things in life. So we and then the kids had COVID in March in June. So we went through another rolling kind of isolation with all of us with one of us being home with each of the three kids for about 20 days. So that was all of June felt like all of June that they were sick and we were home. So I'm celebrating the fact that we were able to hold our kids and hold family and move through it and continue to work. And you know, these are this is a lot and sometimes parenting can feel hard. Because it is hard. Sometimes it can feel isolating because we live in a culture where we are often you know, two parents trying to do a lot of the things in one nuclear house and it's not meant to be like that. And so taking note to look at your year and look at all the things you've done can really go well for We've, we've done a lot this year, we went on a couple of trips to back home to remark, where I grew up and to see family. And oh, my daughter, who is in year two, has had a really, really tough year. So the last term, we've been homeschooling her as well. And so navigating her, and the things that she's had to kind of that have come up for her this year, with lots of anxiety around school, we've had lots of meetings with the teacher and with the school and trying to work out what's best for her and to meet her needs. And so the last term, we've had her home, as well. So we've been homeschooling her, and I'm celebrating the fact that we've you know, been out, I've been able to hold all of these things, Matt and I have held a lot for the kids and work through a lot this year. In September, if you you know, if you've listened to the podcast, you will, you'll know in September, I had a miscarriage. And you know, so navigating, and I'm celebrating where I'm at with that as well, you know, at the end of the year looking back, if I look back through this whole year, it has been a huge journey. And you know, the miscarriage in end of September start of October, the last three months really has been navigating grief and loss. And coming to terms with where am I at now with with having kids or having another one, really seeing my three beautiful children that we that we do have, and spending time with them and connecting and, you know, a lot of working through the things that are coming up for me in the last few months. So right now, this is, you know, the very end, we've got a week until Christmas, two weeks till Christmas of 2022. And you know, it has been a big year, it's been a big year of work. It's been a big year of supporting kids and listening. And Matt, my husband is working towards a passion, you know, fulfilling his passion and purpose in life. And he's doing a lot more basketball coaching, which is something that lights him up. And he has started a new role in the last three months as well. assistant coaching for the Adeline lightning, which is a basketball team here and in South Australia. And so yeah, when we look at meeting everyone's needs in the family, it's been a big year, so I'm celebrating the bigness, and I'm celebrating all of the things at times there, it has been hard. At times, there has been it's been felt a bit out of, I'd say out of balance, or it's just felt a bit like the scales have tipped towards my work. And, you know, there's been moments where the kids have said, like, you're working too much and, and certainly I've felt that. And so looking back, and even though this is about an episode about celebrating, it's also about reflection on the year and going okay, well, where can I? Where can I shift that so that the balance feels like there's my work and my kids and me and Matt and I and our relationship, and we're really kind of looking at all of these aspects of life, so that it feels like there's a bit more of an ebb and flow between all of these things. And it's not just tipped to one or two areas of life. So I'll talk more about that in the new year when I sit down and often do a willingness practice for the year. And it's not really new year's resolutions, so to speak. But it's it's just looking at the areas of my life and what I would want for them and what am I what am I willing for and what yeah, what are we wanting? Or what direction are we going in? And so I'll talk more about that in the new year. But it has, it's been a big year. And really, there has been times where it has been very hard. There's been some very late nights to do some of the work things and so moving forward next year, I'm wanting to do more around you know, a bit more balance not so many late nights looking after myself a little bit more, making sure that my needs are getting met in amongst the families and the kids and maths and the work and my clients and people that I work with and you know really often for me myself I can so funny that I got a ding then on my phone because I was literally just talking about myself and making sure that my needs are met. And if we're looking at conversations with live conversations with life will happen all around us and sometimes we can Say something and there'll be a ding on my phone. And whenever there's a ding on my phone, I really pay attention to what I was just talking about, because that's life saying yes, that is where you need to go. That is what you need to focus on. And so I find it hilarious that my phone just had a little ding, as I was talking about next year, and, you know, moving forwards that put having my needs higher up in the hierarchy, like my needs need to be right at the top, what am I needing, and it's really hard for, for me, for others, I know, for mothers, for people, to for women to put their needs at the top. But I clearly life is telling me to do that, because I just got a ding on my phone. And it is I find it really hard to to put myself first. But that is something that I will be focusing on a bit more next year with health and well being and Exercise and Movement and eating really nutritious food and gut healing and, and really, you know, having Yeah, my time for me in the wake as well, because at times there that really drops down and I can start to spill myself get a bit resentful. And that's an indicator for me that, you know, there needs to be some space and where am I needing to create some space for myself. So anyway, that was a little bit of a tangent around my needs and the things that I would love to keep working on and to making sure that you know, it feels it feels like it's a really beautiful flow between all these different parts of our lives. So that's really the main things that I wanted to talk about today. And to celebrate, and really just pause and look back. And I wonder and I invite you if you feel called to do the same is to where you are right now, look back at the start of the year, what was happening in January, what was happening in February, March, April, May, June, you know, throughout the year, it's been a huge year for everyone in South Australia. It was only this time last year that our borders reopened. And, you know, we had people coming, you could come in and out of the state. And so really, it's only been a year that we've had COVID here in in our state. And so, you know, most of us have worked our way through it and had it and isolated or been sick, some people have had it twice. we've navigated different business structures, openings, closings, you know, all sorts of things. This year, it's been a huge year for everyone. And so I really invite you to look back and kind of look at the year and going what just what can we celebrate what are the things and celebrating the hard times and celebrating the sad times and and I look back at you know, having another miscarriage is probably another one of the most painful times in my life this year. And it's heartbreaking and it's still it's still, when I think about it, when I talk about it, it still really is very present. And the heartbreak and the pain is very real and raw. But I can see the and celebrate the the year. And the things that I've I'm learning out of this, that pain and heartbreak. And I already know that there'll be growth from it, that it will change me as a person, I'm still in that changing phase. So I i am i can celebrate it, I can say it's there. It happened and it's it is incredibly heartbreaking. And painful. But I know that there's there's a purpose in there in it for me, and I'm still navigating that. But I can celebrate that and I can look at it and go wow, this is this has been this year and pause. And so I would love to know what yours are what are you celebrating this year? What are the things that you have navigated and I would love to hear them. You can send me an email or message me on social media or even just you know, even just reflecting for a few minutes on on your year and taking note of where you are right now. I want to say another big thank you to everyone that has listened. I really it really would not happen without you listening. I am so grateful for all the messages that I receive and emails that come in around and how it's helped you, you know, in your family life and how, you know, different episodes have impacted you. And so I just want to say thank you to each and everyone who for listening, I really love sharing this work in the world. I really love sharing and during the interviews, and I think for me, this podcast has been incredibly healing as well with producing this work, but also with the changes that it's happened that that have occurred in my family. The episode last week around with interviewing my parents was, it was huge. It was it's created a huge understanding and a shift in our relationship that I'm, I'm forever grateful for. And so I think sometimes I look back and go, Why did I want to start a podcast and I think it's, you know, a big part of it is to it's really been healing for, for me and my family as well. So, thank you for everyone listening. Thank you for such a wonderful year. There's been lots to celebrate, I hope you have things that you can celebrate in your life, as well. And I look forward to coming back next year. With more interviews and more topics to share about and have a wonderful festive, season and holiday and break. I will be slowing down and spending lots of time with my kids, and Matt and my family. And really creating some memories just of slow days and connection and fun. That's my intention for the school holidays. So I hope y'all have a wonderful break. And we'll see you all again in the New Year. Bye for now. Thank you so much for listening. I would love to know your thoughts and feelings and to continue the conversation. You can connect with me on Instagram and Facebook @_ShelleyClarke_. If you'd like to keep in the loop for all my resources and offerings as they happen, you can join my mailing list at www.shelleyclarke.com Thank you for all you are doing. Your parenting is important and powerful. Have a lovely day. Bye for now.