Creating a sense of safety in our classrooms...

Continuing with the back to school theme, this week Shelley speaks to the anxieties parents feel at this time of year as well as sharing a story about her own experience that has come up for her in this last week. And if you are the person that the child is being handed over to... carers, educators and teachers, then this episode speaks to you about how to cultivate a sense of safety in the classroom.
 
In this episode you'll learn about:
- How to deal with tough parenting moments
- A practical process to help your own inner child
- The difference your tone and expression make to a child feeling safe
-  How to listen to a child's feelings
- What creates a safe environment for children to learn in

If you want to support the children in your care, then this is the podcast episode for you!

Email Shelley about speaking to your educators here

Continue the conversation with Shelley here:
https://www.facebook.com/shelleyclarkemindbodyparenting
https://www.instagram.com/_shelleyclarke_/

This podcast is produced by Nikki O'Brien from Quintessential Being

Transcript

 Shelley Clarke  00:00

I wish to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the lands I live on. I pay my respects to the Kaurna people, elders past and present, and honour their ongoing traditions. Welcome to the Mind Body parenting podcast. I'm your host, Shelley Clarke. Here I talk about all things mind and body and how this relates to ourselves and our parenting. I envision a world where children are seen and heard, and parents feel supported and less alone. Join me here in the power of story, expert knowledge and lived experiences. Let's dive in. Today's episode is brought to you by Kids in Adelaide. For all the best events, activities, places to visit and things to do with your kids in Adelaide and around South Australia, visit www.kidsinadelaide.com.au. Hello, and welcome to the Mind Body Parenting podcast. I'm your host, Shelley Clarke. And today it's another solo episode from me, I wanted to complete the trilogy of returning to school podcasts. So, the last two podcasts I've done. First one was transitioning to school and how we can help our kids with really practical things that we can do, to listen to their feelings to play and to help ease this transition to school. And then last week, I shared a story about my daughter and how listening to her feelings the night before school started really helped her feel confident and be able to go the next day. And so with this podcast, I wanted to talk about our own anxieties as parents, and a little bit more about our own feelings around school. And I want to share a story about my own experience that has come up this in this last week. And was really prominent for me during the week, and also for teachers and educators and childcare workers. And if you are the person that the child is being handed over to you, then this episode is going to be for you. Okay, so where to start, I really am just hitting record on this. Normally, I write down some notes and write down some things I want to say. But this feels really, really raw and vulnerable for me to share. And it's really right for me at the moment. So these feelings have been coming up all week. And I've noticed them. And so having a space to process them is what I've been doing today. So last week was big for many families that I work with, with starting school or childcare. And I don't know why but it just particularly felt big for so many people in this last week. So I'm not sure if it's in the collective thing with people starting school this year, or starting transitions and starting childcare. But it has just felt like a very big week. And I noticed on Tuesday and well sorry, actually, probably Monday and Tuesday, and even Wednesday, a whole lot of feelings were coming up for me, as well. And so when we are feeling worried or anxious about our child starting somewhere new or school or a new year, or whatever it might be, it's helpful to ask ourselves these questions. And I have talked about this before in many podcasts. But things like what does this remind me of? Or where is this coming from? Or how do I feel right now? Or anything that will help you to have a look at where this might be coming from and what is yours in the dynamic? And so on Wednesday, I asked myself like, wow, where are these feelings coming from? I had a huge big reaction to my, to my children. I had a really really tough parenting moment where I responded in a way that I just wasn't great. I didn't enjoy it didn't feel great for me. I reacted to my child I lost my call. And then I came home from drop off. My son started candy that day. So it's his first drop off. So it was big for everybody. And I dropped my son at school and my daughter at school and my, the you know, the youngest son at kindy. And I came home and I had an hour spare and I really just felt the feelings that were there I cried really hard about the change. And I kept having this phrase come to me. I'm so scared. I'm so scared. This is not fair. You can't talk to me like that. And I was like, Where is this coming from? Because that wasn't really what was happening in my world. For the morning, I was dropping my kids off. And but when we are trying to work out where this might be coming from a what we're processing, paying attention to phrases, or sentences that pop into our head can be really helpful. And so I then went through, okay, well, how old are each of my kids? 10? Eight, about to turn eight and four. Okay, which one was the hardest morning, eight year old? All right, what was happening for me when I was out. And then it really hit me. When I was eight, I was going into my hardest year of schooling that I can remember, well, actually, maybe my 12 year old might have been hard in terms of stress and anxiety and things. But when I was eight, I was going into a classroom with a teacher, that really, really was scary. And it's interesting as well, this has been playing out in our home for, you know, last year with my daughter as well, where she was in a classroom where she was really scattered the teacher. And the teacher was definitely had kind intentions. And I'm not wanting to sound negative towards the teacher. Because I know there are some brilliant teachers out there. And many teachers are wanting to learn and wanting to create safe spaces for their kids for their for the kids in their classroom. But my four reasons my daughter didn't feel safe in the classroom, the tone that was used the demeanour, the voice, the telling off of other kids punishing other kids, it meant that she spent most of her time making sure she wasn't doing any of the things that those kids were being told off for. So that she didn't get told off. And so she was scared. And towards the end of the year, I we ended up changing her environment. And she came home and and homeschooled with us fought with me for a little while for a term, and really had a chance to relax and shift. And her nervous system softened. And she had a chance to offload all of the feelings that she was carrying for, for most of last year. And so coming into this school year, she started a new school, fresh start, she was really excited. She had a lot of feelings that were leftover from last year. And so coming up this week, what has been emerging for me is that I've been holding space for her and her feelings around school around this classroom around not feeling safe for many months now. And it's been a process we've been working through. And then this week when I've had a couple of really big cries myself, because I've realised that I've been carrying. And I have had cries several times throughout this whole experience because it has reminded me many times of when I was eight. So this is not the first time I've had a cry about this scenario. I was well aware that it was a very similar scenario playing out, you know, months and months ago. But another piece came up for me this week. And so I had a big cry. And I actually wrote a letter to this teacher. And the teacher that I had when I was eight was scary in his demeanour in his body, in the way he was, you know, he was male, he was quite authoritarian in his teaching, he would yell a lot at a very big, loud, booming voice. And I am sending my love to this teacher and his family because he's no longer alive. He passed away a few years ago of cancer. And so I really hold compassion for him and for his family. But me eight year old me was terrified. He wouldn't let kids go to the toilet during class time, because that was what recess and lunch before and so I developed over the year and nervousness about going to the toilet so I would go the toilet before school started at the start of recess at the end of recess at the start of lunch at the end of lunch. And at the end of school now. You know when we look at how often kids are going to the toilet that was a lot of times where I just developed this in Nervous Wait, this nervous, this need to go to the toilet, because I was terrified of asking to go the toilet within class now I feel like a lot of my nervousness started around this time, around school around developing this nervous bladder. And to this day, I still have to remain lean, I still often need to go the toilet three or four times before something. And I know that people, many people have that. But it's interesting to notice when this started, this teacher also would make a stand up in front of the class without facing the wall, if anyone was naughty, or spoke out of turn, or was rude. And I'm putting all of these in like italics that you can't see, obviously, through a podcast. But, you know, this was, you know, 30 odd years ago. And so we didn't know about behaviours, and we didn't know about what might be going on for a child underneath those behaviours. And so it was very much a behaviourist paradigm, he, he certainly was not the only teacher that was teaching from a paradigm of good and bad and right and wrong, and sit still, and listen to me and do your work. And you have to do what I say. And so, you know, there's very, very common, and it is still very common nowadays. And it is what we need to change. And this is why I'm so passionate about education, I grew up in a family of teachers, teachers surrounding me, my parents, both of them are teachers, I have an aunt and an uncle, and another uncle, you know, that are teachers, I have brother in law, Sister in law, Sister in law, brother in law, better teachers, so many people around me, are teachers and, and I know how hard teachers work. So I'm not, this is not about having a go at education system or, or teachers, it's about looking at it from a child's perspective, and holding the fact that, in general, our system still needs to change, it's still got a very long way to go to recognise what is going on for the child, and how he can meet that child where they're at. So that they feel safe enough to learn. And so my eight year old me was terrified, absolutely terrified of doing anything wrong. And this teacher, I really remember this teacher still using like a ruler, and wouldn't come and like hit our fingers with a ruler, but would certainly, like slap the ruler on the desk. Now, that was was scary. And I do remember that, but then there's part of me that's like, Wow, is that still happening? That then, you know, there's really kind of scare tactics and fear. And if you roll your classroom with fear, then no child is going to learn in that environment. And if you are relying on scaring kids into behaving well, if you are using threats or punishments or rewards, then that is undermining your connection and the relationship that you're building with, with kids in the classroom. And so they will feel scared of you. They might behave really well for you. They might be impeccable in the classroom. But what is happening is, well, now those kids are coming home and if they have spaces to let it all out in their parents are doing a lot of work to listen to those feelings to hold space for their experience throughout the day so that they can come back into a calm and centred and balanced state. Back 30 years ago, my eight year old didn't know any different was impeccable and holding it all in, in the classroom and also in the home. Because our parents didn't even know how we could offload feelings and that crying was a good thing and that holding space for these feelings was what was needed. And so these feelings get buried then in our bodies and they have been coming out for me in the last few months. And even in a big way in this last week around really feeling that fear and feeling how scared I was as a as an eight year old. And what I've been doing this week is imagining a really loving space for me to offload those feelings. So having, doing an inner loving presence process where I was listening to the feelings and say I get it, I see how hard this is. Yes, it's unfair. Yes, he shouldn't talk to you like that. I'm so sorry that you're so scared at school, and really offering the same things that I've been saying to my eight year old, or seven year old for the last six months, saying those same things to myself. And really shifting that experience in the way that I was holding those, those feelings in my body. And I've been imagining having a different response with that teacher, a warm and loving response, having him come over to the desk and speak in a warm and inviting tone rather than a harsh and abrupt tone that was jarring to my nervous system, having him not single out kids and put them on the whiteboard. And, you know, these are the naughty kids that get on the whiteboard, and they need to do better, and that by pointing them out and shaming them, he thinks that's gonna be the thing that motivates them to behave better. All that does is create shame and layers of guilt and an embarrassment and shame for children that parents carry around. We carry around now for 30 years. So many parents that I talked to have wounds and hurts that they have internalised throughout their school years. And I'm passionate about helping shift that experience for our children now, and I love homeschooling, I love natural learning, I love trusting our children and what they want to learn and when they want to learn it. And also, I'm aware that homeschooling isn't available for everyone, it's not an option for everyone. And so what I am really passionate about is how can we make the classrooms, the childcare is where we dropping our children, an extension of the home and extension of the safe spaces that we're trying to create at home? How can we have that more and more in the classroom, and more and more in the child cares? Class, you know, in the rooms that were in the spaces that we're sending our children two, and one, it's about the educators, the teachers being aware of the environment that they're creating in the classroom, being aware of their own bodies? How are you in the classroom? If you are a teacher or an educator? What, what does it feel like to be in your presence? What does it feel like for a child, you might have wonderful intentions of teaching children, all of these things. And you might really have the child's education and learning at the top of your priority. But if you are yelling, if you are using fear, if you're using punishments, or you're if you're using threats or awards, if you are snapping, if you are frustrated, and irritated by a certain child or several kids, and are reacting if you have come to a conclusion about a child and think well, that's just the naughty kid in the class. They're just rude. They just can't sit still. Then having a look at what is that for you? Where is that coming from? What does it remind you of? How can you soften your own body? How can you look at your own stories and beliefs and feelings? And what is going on for you in your in your world so that you can create a safe and welcoming nurturing environment for the children in your classroom. And so, for me this week, the RE parenting or the repatterning that I've been doing is really imagining a warm and inviting teacher for that eight year old me one that doesn't shame kids into behaving well. One that isn't pointing out all the naughty kids and putting them on the whiteboard. One that isn't having kids stand at the front of the classroom, isolating them for their behaviour and making them stare at a brick wall. One that isn't stopping kids from going to the toilet when they need to. So you know really how Having a teacher that saying yes, you can go the toilet. And I'm right here with you. And I know that as teachers, we can't necessarily listen to every kid's feelings that they have in the classroom, I know that you have a, that they are there with a job to do, you know, you've got criteria, things that you lesson plans and things that you need to kind of deliver. But there are some simple things that we can do, to be aware of the energy and the way that we are holding, holding the classroom and, and that can be one looking at our own stories and beliefs and about certain children, to making sure we're having a space for our own feelings to be heard. It's very hard to hold space for a classroom of kids, when you're really full up and stressed and worried and concerned or have this going on in your life. And so having a space to look at your own feelings as an educator, as a teacher, having a warm and inviting face and tone. And so from what we know, around the vagus nerve and polyvagal theory, which is the work of Steven Porges, we know that face, so our facial expressions play a big part in creating that safety within a classroom. And so, if we are stuck in a fight or flight response ourselves, or if we are really nervous and anxious, or irritated, or have our own stuff going on, as educators as teachers, then you know, sometimes that can even be perceived by the child without you will, without you saying any of those things that can be in our tone of voice, it can be in our facial expressions, it can be in the rigidity that we're holding within our body. And so being aware of that is really, really important. So that you can create a safe space for your children, for the children that you're taking care of, and that you are custodians of, of them, while you know, throughout the day. And so things like even just being aware of the tone of your voice, if we talk in a very monotone or way, then it can be very hard for children to, you know, listen and sit still and engage. And so, you know, being aware of how is your voice? Is it monotone? Is it Is there an edge to it, I use snappy with children are you, you know, abrupt and harsh in your tone and, and I, we are not going to get our tone right all the time. Even as parents my tone is, you know, something I'm working on all the time with my kids, because I can just look at my kids sometimes, or I might make a face at them. And I can see that, you know, they've perceived my, my irritation, and then they internalise that as our I'm irritated at them. It might not be that I'm irritated at them. Maybe I'm frustrated with my work that I'm doing or an email that I'm writing. And they've interrupted me at that time. But if I don't go and explain that to them, they will internalise that that is them. And so I'm not saying that we need to be 100% on our toes all the time. What I am saying is as teachers and educators and childcare workers, being aware of what is happening for us internally, and owning that when we do respond or react in ways so that the kids that we are teaching or with no, that that wasn't their fault that they don't have to hold on and be perfect and you know, and be on edge all day to make sure that you don't yell or that they that you are responsible for your feelings and reactions in the classroom. And so being aware of your tone, being aware of your facial expressions, being aware that if you come down on to the child's level that makes a huge difference. We are bigger than children by nature. We are taller than them we are huge income Harrison to five year olds, right. And so when we're teachers, if we are standing up the front in our teacher stern voice, that can feel very threatening for a child, even when you are really, you know, want to be kind, it's how it feels for the child that creates that sense of safety. So coming down on their level, kneeling below their eye level, and talking to them in a softer tone in a loving tone in a warm tone. And having a smile on your face, those things can make a huge difference to how the child perceives you and how safe they feel in their bodies. And then, if there is a time because I wouldn't be able to do 30 kids in a classroom, no way, you know, like, so I know, I can imagine how hard this is. And I can imagine that in that at times, you have a plan in your head that it's going to go a certain way, but it doesn't, and things you know, get activated in your own body, and then you snap at a child that's hitting another child and this is going you know, sometimes we need to use a, a quick, no, and stop for safety reasons. Absolutely. And it's not about always having a warm and soft and inviting kind of tone. It's just about being real. It's about saying stop, no, you know, whatever might need to happen. But then saying, Look, I'm really sorry, if that scared you, I was worried that this was going to happen, I was worried that you know, someone was going to get hurt. And I'm sorry that that scared people, let's now put this, this and this in place for that in the future. It's about owning that and being real, so that children can feel you. And they then are the ones having to hold everything in and, and behave a certain way to make sure that you aren't yelling and screaming or, or telling people off. If they're having to walk on eggshells around you, the children will change the ones that have the capacity to change their behaviour, they will they will be good for you. But they will hold that in until they get home until they're able to offload that in a safe place. Now the ones that aren't, don't yet have the capacity to hold it all in, they will be the ones that it will still come out, it will come out in unenjoyable behaviours. And so you're still going to be you're using, you know, if you're punishing and rewarding and all these things, the kids that are really that really have a hard time to, to hold it in. They're not doing that on purpose, either. There's something going on for their nervous system for their bodies, that, you know, they're not able to hold their feelings in and behave in a way that, you know, the good kids are again in italics. And so one, if you roll your classroom, by fear or punishments or rewards, the kids that can meet those demands, they will but at the expense of their learning, or they might not feel safe, and they offload that all at home. And then the kids that can't we're still punishing those kids anyway. And then those kids are internalising, that they're no good that they are the naughty kid that they are the kid that can't listen. They're the annoying kid, they're this, they're that whatever. But actually, they're none of those things, either. They are trying their absolute hardest to do the things that are required of them for the school for the day. How can we as a teacher, meet those kids create a sense of safety for all of the kids in the classroom. And that comes down to relationship, our relationship and being an authentic expression of ourselves as the educator and the teacher and getting to know the children that are in your care what their needs might be. And I know there's 30 of them, or 20 of them or however many there are. And I know that it's hard to meet everybody's needs in the one classroom in the one day. But the more that you do this and the more that we are moving towards this model of care, the better outcomes that we will have for our children. Anyway, I'm probably going off on a tangent, I hope some of this or any of this, I'm hoping it makes sense. I know that many of us would love the school system to change. I know that many of us would love for us to see children, in this way in a new light in it with a new lens that every single child in your classroom is doing the very best they can. How do we know that the child that can't sit still, and is moving around and fidgeting and annoying the kid next to them isn't using up all of their energy just to be present in the room with you? Or just to be there? How do we know that the child that is calling out or answering all the questions when they are out of line or out of turn, that they aren't using all of their energy and capabilities to be able to hold it in or wait their turn. And so what I would love every educator and teacher and parent child care worker to know is that every single child in your classroom is doing the very best they can. Some might need to move and move their bodies to then be able to listen and learn. Some might need to have a big laugh and cry, or shake their bodies to then be able to come back into balance, to learn and to listen or to be creative or whatever it might be. How can you see every single child through the lens of they're doing the very best they can? What might they be needing? Do they have enough information of what is needed right now? Do they need to shift and move their bodies and move some of that energy through or some of their feelings through their bodies, so that they can come back into a state of creativity and curiosity and and be able to learn? How are you creating a safe environment for them to be who they are. Because when we are harsh in our tone when we are stiff in our bodies when we are stern and teachery. And I say that because everyone will have everyone will know what I mean when they say you know the teacher voice, the lecturing voice, the that that kind of tone, can feel harsh for kids. And it can create an environment where kids don't feel that they can be themselves, they don't feel safe. And when their kids don't feel safe, it's very hard for them to learn. And so I really send this podcast out with so much love and compassion for teachers, for educators, for childcare workers, for anyone that interacts with children, for therapists, you know, that work with kids, doctors, anybody to really, you know, I really want people to know that the way you are the energy that you hold the, the presence that you bring, plays a big part in creating that sense of safety for our children. And if you are willing, if you are open to looking at what these stories may be, what are you carrying? What are you holding in your own body? How can you shift those feelings within you? How can you work through and process some of the things that are going on for you, so that it's easier for you to meet some of these more challenging and difficult behaviours in the classroom, so that it's easier to see the kid that's withdrawn and terrified but very good in the classroom. How can you soften and be open to seeing more of what is going on for each child. And so I'm sending out lots and lots of love and sending out lots of love to every little child out there the small children within you that are listening, you know the as, as the adult person all the times in your own schooling where you were told off or told you couldn't do something or yelled at or was scared to misbehave or was terrified to ask to go the toilet because you didn't want to get told off. I'm sending so much love to all the younger parts of you and know that you can hold them we can reparent we can Change the experience that we can change the way that we hold that story and that experience in our bodies, so that it doesn't have the same emotional charge for ourselves. And once we do these pieces, it also means that we are able to then meet our children in a different way as well, if we still have emotional charge about dropping our kids off, or if the teacher that our child has this year reminds us of a teacher we had, there will be emotional charge around that that can be we can be bringing into the dynamic as well. And so looking at that ourselves, and it's just what I've been doing this week, it's what I've been doing for the last few months. And then we can look at well, what is ours, and then what is our child's and if the environment isn't changing? Do we need to move our child do we need to change the environment that our child is in so that they can have a different experience, which is what we did last year, we went through all the channels, I looked at my own stuff I looked at I listen to my children, my child, I was playing all the games, creating a safe space, I talked to the school, I talked to the principal, I talked to the teacher. And you know, in the end, we were like, actually, an environment change is what's needed here so that she can reset so that it's not, we're not sending her back into the same environment every day. And so, you know, these are the things that we can look at, for our children for ourselves. But then as teachers, are we creating safe spaces for our children, are we and this is not just you know, a beautiful, aesthetic looking environment with pictures and you know, all your feelings are welcome on the wall. It's not just about, you know, it's okay to be happy. It's okay to be sad. And it's not just about these things that are words or written on things that we stick up around the wall, we can have a beautifully ascetic looking environment. And it still feels unsafe for the child because you as the teacher, as the educator, as the person that's the adult in the room, you are the most important thing for the children, you are the thing that creates that sense of safety in the classroom. If you are warm and inviting and soft in your felt sense in what the kids will feel, then that is what creates a sense of safety. If you are harsh in your tone, if you begin authoritarian in your demeanour that will feel scary to a child that will ramp up their nervous system that will send them into their fight or flight response. And it is very hard to learn that will ramp up the behaviours that are unenjoyable in the classroom. And it's very, very hard to learn in that environment. And so, again, I'm sending this out with love and compassion for every teacher and the invitation to ask these questions. Am I creating a sense of safety for the children in my classroom? And if you aren't, there are many different resources that are available to start to work on how you build that sense of safety. I will link in the show notes Lael, Stone's work. She's got a beautiful webinar on classrooms, and creating connected classrooms. I highly recommend all of her work, she has built a school based on creating emotional safety for our children. Many schools do have emotional safety as the centre point of their their school philosophy. However, it comes down to the individual teacher in each classroom. And so even if your school doesn't have that philosophy of emotional safety, or it's not one of their core tenants, you as the teacher can create that sense of safety in your classroom. And then you will see huge leaps and bounds and you know, the kids will go a long way. Because when they feel safe, they can learn. And so whether you're in a school that has this as philosophy or not. You as the teacher, the educator, the primary person in the childcare room, can work towards creating that sense of safety for the kids that you Are, are around for a lot of the time, our children that go to school spend so much time with that teacher. And if we are creating spaces where kids don't feel safe, then that ripples out into, you know, so much of their lives. And they can carry those beliefs and imprints for the rest of their lives if they don't have a way of looking at it as an adult. So, yeah, there's been many parents that I work with that I go, I'm done. I can't read, I can't draw. I'm not creative. I can't write or I'm not artistic. And I might ask them, Well, where did that come from? And it's beliefs that they formed in their schooling years. It's beliefs that they formed because they were marked on something a certain way, or they were told by a teacher, that they were no good and were weren't able to do this thing or that thing, or it's internalised throughout these developing years. And so I'm really, really passionate about helping teachers and educators and childcare workers and the people that are looking after our children, to be aware of how we are, how are you in the classroom, what is happening in your body. If you feel like you're activated and stressed, the kids will feel that. And so having ways to move that through your own body, so that you come back into balance, when you come back into a calm and centred and connected place within yourself, that kids will orient towards that the kids will naturally come back into that calm and centred state, because you are in that state. So anyway, that is probably enough. For me, I'm sitting here, with my little eight year old, I've been sharing her with love, and connection. And I've been imagining that beautiful teacher with a warm and inviting voice and really creating a different experience for myself on how I wanted that to be, so that I hold that differently in my body. And I really feel that shifting throughout this last week, couple of weeks, months. And so I hope that this podcast has been helpful for you in some way. If there's a teacher that you feel would be willing and open to listening to this, and learning, then please share it, please send it to someone, because I'm really passionate about helping to change the experience for our children as they go through the education system. Also, if you are a teacher, or working in school, or childcare, and would like me to come and do some training, or educating or to elaborate more on ways that we can create that sense of safety in our bodies, these are just a few, like, there are many different ways that I would love teachers to know how they can create that safe space for their, for their, for their students, for their learners. But, you know, softening your body, softening your voice and being aware of your tone, being responsible for your own feelings. And if you do lose it or, you know, yellow raise your voice or are a little bit harsh then to apologise and repair and take ownership of that, to come down below your child's eye level to you know, to talk to them to realise that you are a very strong and powerful presence in the room. And so to make that as less or non threatening as possible, to smile to have a warm face. So the warm face, I've done some matter my training, and in that training, they talk a lot about having a warm and inviting face because again, our nervous systems will be tuning into and can and can perceive very quickly who is a warm space and an inviting and who feels harsh and abrupt and a bit scary. And that can just be from our facial expressions. So being aware of that is very, very helpful. So these are just some some things softening our voice softening Your body, softening your tone, coming down below their eye level. Being aware, taking responsibility of how we are in the classroom, starts to build that relationship with the kids. Avoid using punishments and rewards and threats, and bribes, and all of these things that undermine your relationship with the children. These are just some things, there are many. And so if you feel called and would love some further education, I would love to come to your organisation. If you're here in Adelaide, more than happy to come and do some training in with the staff in a staff meeting, a half day education session, we can tailor it to whatever you are wanting in your classroom or childcare. But I'm really, really passionate about sharing this with more and more people and changing our environments that our children are in for a lot of the time. If you don't live in Adelaide and would love some education, we can do something online, I'm sure. And this really is all just coming to me right now off the top of my head so I can tailor it to what you are wanting. Because I feel like this is a really important piece how we are in the classroom, how you hold your body, what is going on in your nervous system as the teacher? What is your presence in the room? How does it feel in the room can make a huge difference to the experience of the child. So thank you very much for listening. And if you want any more information, please feel free to email me send me a message. And I would love to talk more about this with you if you feel called. Bye for now. And I'll be back next week with some more. Have a lovely day. Thank you so much for listening. I would love to know your thoughts and feelings and to continue the conversation. You can connect with me on Instagram and Facebook@_shelleyclarke_. If you'd like to keep in the loop for all my resources and offerings as they happen you can join my mailing list at www.shelleyclarke.com Thank you for all you are doing. Your parenting is important and powerful. Have a lovely day. Bye for now.